Challenge

Let me preface this with a disclaimer. This blog entry is really intended for me. A place to look back and remind myself of what I need to do. You can do it, Joy! Don't be swayed!
I got a Facebook "event notice" yesterday about a 10K/5K race in November. At first I thought, "Why is she sending this to me? I'm not ready for this. I am not a runner." The more I thought about it though, it became kind of a challenge to me. I could do this. Could I do this?
It stayed in my mind all day. When I was done working out with weights at the gym, I headed outside to do some walking and running. As I started down the road, I could not get that event out of my mind. I decided I was gonna see what I had in me. I asked God to help me find a pace that would allow me endurance so that I could see how far I could go. Then I started to run. And I ran. And I ran. Now, when I say how far I went, some people might wonder what the big deal is. Before then, I had pushed myself to run for a three minute stretch before I had to walk. This time, I just let go (and let God :) ). I ran .4, walked for about 30 seconds and ran another .35. 3/4 of a mile! Now, I am not quite at a 6 minute mile. In fact, I am not even at a 15 minute mile. But I was so proud of myself. It was an amazing start.
So, I plan to at least do the 5K and if I get gutsy enough I might run the 10K. November is a few months away and I feel confident that even if I have to walk some, I could do it.
So Joy, when you read this in a month or so, don't waiver. Push through. Run the race and finish strong!

WOW!

For so many years I have done diets and been successful for a while, sometimes months, but every time I would slip back and fail. There is a part of me that still has that niggling thought in the back of my brain, "what if something happens and it doesn't last?"
I have been pondering the phrase "walking in Truth". What does that mean? I think it holds many connotations, but the one that has resonated with me is this: Jesus conquered sin. That's it. I don't have to do it for myself. Gluttony and idol worship (food) are sin. He has already won the battle for me. That's the Truth.
Walking in that Truth is having a confidence that my striving has ceased. I can be faithful every day, and I don't have to expect that I am going to slip back to my old ways.
Every day I see evidence of the inner fix. It's easy to be disciplined (if your anyone other than me!), but to see change that is a complete switch without having to struggle through it is only God. Up until this summer, my life has been about food and eating. All day and every day. Secret eating and binging. It always amplified when Brian had to be away.
When I came home from Arizona, within a few days, Brian had to be gone for a week. I was back to work, shuffling kids and trying to stick to a workout schedule. When Brian came home, we were out walking and he called me to account and asked if I had cheated while he was away. Wow. Way to cut to the chase. I had the most amazing experience as I answered his question. (OK, I am starting to well up) I realized that NOT ONCE had it even CROSSED my mind to cheat while he was gone. That realization has undoubtedly been one of the highlights of my Christian walk. I probably could have tried to remain disciplined on my own, but to realize that there had been a mental switch for me can only be attributed to God's work in me.
I don't have to wonder if I will fail. I just have to walk in God's Truth daily.
WOW!

Settling In

How wonderful to be home! I really did miss my family. Two months is a long time. Although my time away from my family doesnt even come close, I have a newfound appreciation for military families and the sacrifice they make every day. Even though I was away, I still had the luxury of picking up the phone any time I wanted to talk to my family. My heart goes out to Brian's sister Kimberly and her husband Chad. They are only in the middle of six months apart while Kimberly serves in Afganistan.
Coming back to reality is, well...reality. Schedules and work, shopping and cooking, laundry and cleaning. You know the drill. Thankfully I had a plan in place for the first week before I even stepped off the plane. If I didnt, it would have been easy to waffle and flake (frosted that is!)- two things that are definately NOT on the current menu!
I am happy to report that with only a few minor glitches, I have exercised every day and continued to stick to my eating. I think that the biggest thing I have seen is that I have to make the exercise a priority. Not in a selfish, self-centered kind of way, but an "I love my family so much I have to take care of myself" way.
So far so good in the support from the fam. The only groans I have heard are the ones from my husband and son when I put them through my workout and the slight grumbling about there being "nothing to eat in this house". I did strike a bit of a bargain and declared one night a week Treat Night. Took the fam to the local treat joint and gave them money to go in without me to purchase a single-serve treat.

So far, so good. Gotta keep pluggin away.

Final Numbers

Well, its almost over. Tomorrow will be seven weeks since I arrived in Tucson. Only 4 days til I am home, if you wondered. Since I gave you the ugly details when I started, I thought it only fair to give you a report on the final numbers.

• 44 - Days in the gym
• 14 - Workouts with a trainer
• 5 - Times I did after saying I couldn't (I dont think Matt knows the words I Can't)
• 30 - Workouts pushing myself
• 50 - Water Aerobics classes
• 14 - Kickboxing classes
• 180 - Sit-ups at a "sitting"
• ?? - Miles walked (maybe just under a million)
• 0 - Days I went over my calories
• 2 - Planned cheats (within calorie limits)
• 3 - Restaurants eaten in
• 1 - Zumba class
• 2- Step classes

Oh, and I lost:

• fear
• inhibition
• addiction to food
• fear of failure
• lack of discipline
• and yes, pounds and inches

My journey is far from over and many of you will walk it with me daily. I know that 30 years of old habits and past failures will try to creep in from time to time. I am trusting God that the foundation has been laid for a new way of living. I have found the blog to be a great way for me to communicate what God and I have been up to. I will probably continue to blog as I walk down the long road ahead. As I look back over old blogs, it has become a testimony of where God has brought me.

I want to thank everyone who has followed and supported me through this "kick-off" phase of my journey. I could not have done it some days without your thoughts and prayers.

There is a quote on the gym wall: "Never let weakness tell you that you lack strength."

I think I will end with that.

Old Friend

OK, so the countdown is on and has been for a week or so, when I boldly declared "I'm done and ready to go home." I think the next three words are more obvious to most of you than me...Famous Last Words.
This has been a most idyllic situation from the beginning; control over everything that happens in my day from eating to exercise. No one to shop for, cook for and care for but myself. Now, I know you know that it hasnt been without its issues, but for the most part, it has been fairly straightforward to follow the plan.
Enter the reveal outfit. You know, the one they see you in the first time they lay eyes on the new you. Sassy and classy and making you shine. So, I spent all afternoon Sunday and part of the day on Monday looking for just the right outfit. After about 20 stores, at least double that in outfits, and finding out that I may have to wear the same size back home that I started with, you can be sure I had a visit from an old friend.
Emotional Eating and I go way back. We have been tight since middle school. Its been for the best really that we have been separated these last weeks. She had become a bit too overbearing. She called on Sunday and wanted to renew our relationship. I have to be honest and say I considered it. I mean, at least we were comfortable together and if my new friend Fitness isnt being a faithful friend, well...
Have you ever prayed that prayer, you know the one where you say to God, "Teach me, show me, grow me"? How many of you can honestly say He hasn't? A couple of weeks ago when things were rockin along and I knew I was coming to the end, I prayed that prayer and asked Him to work out anything else that needed to be dealt with. BAM! Right between the eyes! Just when I thought it was gonna be smooth sailing.
It has been a hard couple of days. Days of once again second guessing my methods and wrestling with the old me, days of anger and frustration. The whole thing made me so mad that I didnt even complain to Matt about the killer workout he gave me. I just did it harder and left my anger in the gym.
What? What was that about leaving it in the gym? YES! I realized when I left the gym yesterday that even though I was angry and frustrated about the situation that I had gotten through Sunday, Monday and Tuesday morning without eating anything I shouldnt have. The amazing thing is that the anger only made me want to work harder to overcome the situation. I decided then and there that I had to break up with Emotional Eating. I'm sure in the future she will try to get back together, but my new friend Fitness and I will be busy.
Oh, and even if I have to come home in the same outfit, the woman inside it will be different.

Weekly Weigh-In

For those of you holding your breath about my weigh-in this week, you can let it out.
Matt has asked me not to weigh until Thursday, our last session when he weighs and measures me. He wants me to be encouraged by a big number before I go home.
I have to be honest and say that I did cheat and stepped on the scale at my folks house this weekend. The temptation was too great! Without revealing too much, I can assure you it was less than the last time I was on the scale last Monday.
Now I have to confess to Matt...

Road Trip!

Amazing! If you have never been to the Grand Canyon, it is breathtaking. I have now been twice and both times, it made me cry to think that MY God made this! I am a little teary now thinking about it.
My brother Dale, who has lived in Arizona for 21 years now, had never been. So...road trip! We decided to go up on Friday early so we could be there in the afternoon. It was kind of spur of the moment and very fun.
I am proud to say that I maintained my new lifestyle by doing the following:
1. I got up at 4:45 so that I could get in my workout BEFORE we left at 8:15.
2. I packed all my own food in a cooler and put it in the back seat. In my family, the word road trip is synonymous with snacks - wheat thins, twizlers, chips... It was a bit strange to just sit in the car and not be munching. The closest I came to cheating was a walk down desire lane as we discussed the merits of every candy bar known to man.
3. Didn't just get out, look at the canyon and jump back in the car to drive to another spot, but walked the trail along the rim to other lookout spots.
4. Stayed with some friends of Dales in Prescott, AZ, went to Chili's for dinner (only the second time I have eaten out in 6 weeks) and special ordered my dinner so that it was within my eating limits. Didn't eat any of the bottomless chips and salsa.
Overall, it was a great time together and another step in the right direction for me in terms of old habits. I am sure there will be other things that come up in time that I will have to conquer, but each time I do, I feel like I am that much closer to the life I want to live.

FINALLY!

Finally a good weight loss week! Woo Hoo! (Insert Happy Dance here!)

Jesus,

You are my forever love
You are my forever love
You are my forever love
You are my forever love

From the bottom of my heart I’ll sing to You
From the depths of who I am I love You
With everything inside I’ll run to You
‘Cause all that I’ve become I owe to You

From the bottom of my heart I’ll sing to You
From the depths of who I am I love You
With everything inside I’ll run to You
‘Cause all that I’ve become I owe to You

You are my forever love
You are my forever love
You are my forever love
You are my forever love

Crash!

I had another blood pressure crash yesterday. Shoot!
I had a great day planned too. I wanted to do a repeat of Tuesday, which was the highest number of calories I had burned in one day since I had been here. On Tuesday, I walked to the gym (1.6 miles), had a half hour with Matt, did a half hour more of other stuff he wanted me to do, did an hour swim aerobics class, and walked back home (1.6 miles). Took a break and did a sampler class at the gym in the evening (kickbox cardio, step aerobics and Zumba). My bodybug said that I burned over 4,000 calories, not including the swim which is usually around 400.
By the way, did I mention that the gym is 1.6 miles one way? When I first was here, one day I walked to a Walgreens exactly 1.6 miles away to get a redbox movie. It took me a good 45-50 minutes. I was able to walk to the gym in just about 30 minutes. So, although the scale doesnt show much progress, I was able to shave off about 15 minutes!
So, on Thursday, I woke up and realized that I had forgotten to take my blood pressure med the night before. Since this has happened a couple of other times, I took it with breakfast. It hasnt been a problem before, but I guess I hadnt done the same level of workout those days. So, I walked to the gym. When I got there, I felt a little more worn out than the other day, although with monsoons coming, the humidity has started to rise. So, I was of course sweating pretty good. I felt a bit sick to my stomach, but thought it was breakfast. Started to work out with Matt and couldnt hardly do the stuff! Within two exercises, I thought I was going to pass out. All the blood drained from my head and I felt terrible! I had to stop and get some powerade to try to get my pressure back up. Uuuugh! I hate when that happens. A perfectly good workout gone to waste. Not only that, but when it crashes like that, I am zapped and all I can do is rest. I got it to stableize a bit and decided to do the last half hour of my water class (low impact). My mom had to come pick me up at the gym and take me home. I rested a bit and felt better by evening. I did go to my swim class in the evening and felt pretty good. But, by 9:30 I was good and ready for bed. I DID remember to take my med last night, so I was back on track today.
The good news to report is that before I crashed, I was able to do 25 jumping jacks! I havent been able to do them for a long time. I have a lot of weight to just force into the air! But, I did them because Matt made me. He keeps pushing me and making me do things I think I cant! Who does he think he is anyway! :)

No More Hiding

I realized last night that I have been hiding. I have let my weight keep me from view, so to speak. It can be a bit intimidating to do some of the stuff I have done over the last month, to the point that I have experienced a bit of anxiety. Butterflies, nervousness, nausea.
I should have, but didn't connect that there would be no kickboxing class list night because of the weekend holiday. I drove all the way out to the college and found an empty parking lot. Since I had my gloves, I forced myself to go to the gym with the intention of using one of the classrooms that has boxing bags to do my own version of the class. When I arrived at the gym, I found that a class was going to start shortly. A bit frustrated, I decided to do the rowing machine and time it in the three-minute intervals that we experience in the class. At least I would be getting my heart rate up.
When the class started, I saw that it was kickbox cardio. Oh no. Butterflies, nervousness, nausea. Just start rowing, I told myself. Its not your class and you would be out of your league. Look over the shoulder. Row some more. Look over the shoulder. Butterflies. Could I do it? Surely I couldn't do an hour of cardio at the intensity I saw through the GLASS wall. Row some more. Nervousness, nausea, sweat (because of the rowing). Who wants to see (through the GLASS wall) a 300-pound woman trying to keep up? Like Esther, clearly this was my "for such a time as this" moment. At about 5-7min. into the class, I made myself get up and go in.
Guess what? Through the GLASS wall the whole gym could see that 300-pound woman do 45 minutes of kickbox cardio without letting up! I surprised even myself.
As I considered the event (event, since surely it was groundbreaking), I realized that my fear had more to do with hiding than anything else. Yes, I have done a lot of things that I would not have done at home. Yes, I have put myself out there when no one else but me was making me. But, when I go to the kickboxing class, my sister in law is there. When I go to water aerobics, I can hide in the water (plus the other students are either sweet older ladies or overweight as well). Hiding, its what I have done best for too long. I will probably still try to hide and God will have to prod me into submission, but I think this was the start of a new mentality. No more hiding.

U-Turn Town

I've decided to dub Tucson as U-Turn Town. As you drive down the street, you almost always have to make a U-turn to get where you want to go. All the main roads have medians and unfortunately city planning dropped the ball when it comes to convenience of travel. I sometimes try to beat the system by winding through a shopping center or office plaza to try to find the sweet spot in the median, only to find that I have not only NOT found it, but now I have to make a longer u-turn. Aaargh!
As I was driving down the street making yet another u-turn, trying not to get frustrated, I decided that the title was appropriate not only for the town, but for my life. Tucson has become the place in which I make my u-turn. For so long the road has been in the wrong direction. My health and fitness had become like the never ending road divided by a median of bad choices and lazy habits. Well, I found my u-turn in U-Turn Town and I am not taking another.

I WAS RIGHT!

Yeah! I was right! 17 pounds of muscle in 4 weeks! Crazy!!!

Freedom!

I celebrated my freedom today with freedom! Don't panic, I didn't go crazy. I did however allow myself to have a tablespoon of three things not on my diet: coleslaw, baked beans (the REALLY good kind) and cheesy potato casserole. I also had a very small sliver of cheesecake. It was good, but not to die for. Surprise! Those of you who know me well know that cheesecake it the end all for me. I was glad I ate it because I think if I hadn't, it would have consumed me thinking about it.
I've decided to give the other eating plan a try. I want to glean as much as I can while I am here about food and exercise. I don't know if it would be a forever kind of eating plan, but I will give it a shot and see how it goes.
Hope you all have had a great 4th of July celebrating your freedom. How appropriate that it is on a day we celebrate our ultimate hero and freedom giver, Jesus!

"I was under the impression there would be no math..."

Almost at the four week mark. Cant believe its already been that long. Even though some of you don't want to know numbers, I am going to be totally transparent so SPOILER ALERT!!!!! I was measured yesterday and had my body fat checked. Over all, I have lost 8 inches. I have only lost 10 pounds as of this past Monday. When Matt checked my body fat, I lost 9%. This was the number that he was most excited about. He said that's a big amount to lose in a month. I guess it doesn't mean that much to me except forward progress. So, I go home and get out the calculator. 9% of my starting body weight is 27 pounds and some change. So does that mean I gained 17 pounds of muscle? Even though that sounds mathematically logical to me, I have a feeling it doesn't really work that way. I will have to have some discussion with Matt on Tuesday when I see him again.
By the way, the pic here is Matt, my trainer. I would say he's about 22 and is working on a nutrition degree from University of Arizona. Once finished, his goal is to go on to Physical Therapy school. He is a really neat guy who has been pulling out all the stops to help me reach my goals. He is sweet, but pushes and MAKES me do the hard stuff. He has been helping me with my food as well. Keeping me on task in terms of the right foods. He has proposed a different eating plan and I am considering it over this weekend. He said it will really begin to burn fat in a huge way. With only three weeks left, its tempting.
PS, you can hear part one of my interview on Family Life Radio's Intentional Living at http://www.theintentionallife.com/broadcast.asp The broadcast was on Wednesday, June 30. There will be a second part on July 22.

Pluggin Away

Its been a different week. Dale has been gone all week and will be gone again most of this week. I have been alone a lot this past week. Most of my interaction is usually with him.
Discipline is still the main focus. I am proud to say that in the last three weeks, I have not veered from the eating or exercise. I realized yesterday, that I have not had fast food in the weeks I have been here. WOW! For me, that's huge. I am starting to get the itch. Not so much of a desire for that food, but I think more of a withdrawl from that habbit. Not that I have acted on it, mind you! I did buy a kashi pizza that is in the freezer if I get really, REALLY desperate. Its actually legal on my eating so that's a good thing.
My trainer, Matt, asked me to bring in my food journal so he could see if there was anything he would tweak since I really didn't lose any weight last week. I was encouraged when he looked at it and said that there wasn't a whole lot he would change. Only two things he mentioned: not to have eggs every morning (his concern was mostly the cholesterol, which has not been an issue for me in the past), and to keep the "bready" carbs in the first half of the day. For those of you interested, when you work out (with weights especially), your body burns off the carbs first. Once you burn them off, your body starts to burn the fat.
I kind of mixed up my workouts this week, adding more stuff in the pool. I have started doing the swim aerobics at the gym every morning and stay in the pool after to run laps. Sound easy? Remember when your kids were little and they wanted to sit on your foot while you walked across the room? Try doing that for 40 minutes! I wish I could wear my bodybugg in the pool so I would know how many calories that burns.
I was able to spend some time on Friday evening with some old friends. Had dinner at their house (cleared the menu first !) It was fun to catch up and enjoy some good fellowship. I have plans to do a girl night with some of the girls from my folks church, which I have been attending. I think we will go to the movies on Wednesday.
Oh, something of interest. I am going to be interviewed on the Family Life Radio show Intentional Living. I think the interview will be on Tuesday and will air on Wednesday. If you want to catch it, you can go to the website. I think I saw that you can listen online. I will let you know more details and how it goes after the interview.

Press on Towards the Goal

What does that look like? I've been pondering that for a couple of days. What is the goal?
I know what it means in spiritual terms, but what does it look like for me in real life. Paul says, "I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me...forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead. I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."
If I consider this verse in light of where I am, I have a LOT of forgetting to do of past stuff. The straining towards what is ahead is boggling me a bit. I realize my focus has been about losing weight. Of course thats an obvious goal, but what about the others, the "big picture" goals. I dont think I can clearly define those. I should have probably done so BEFORE starting this journey.
This has been a crazy week and I feel like I have been caught up in the immediate goal of weight loss. Since I havent lost the hoped for amount, I have to consider maybe there is something more. Something bigger. Something God wants to teach me (imagine that???) that is bigger than a few pounds. I think it might be HOW to press on towards the goal.
In the meantime, I will keep doing what I know to do, eat right, drink LOTS of water, and exercise. Lesson #1: discipline.

Hitting the Wall

Nothing. Nada. Zilch.
Thats what I lost this week.
OK, IF you round up, I lost 1 pound.
This is where I usually hit the wall and quit. It took all I had to do my thing today. I made myself go to kickboxing tonight because I decided if I dont, the only one who loses out is me.
This week is going to be crucial and I will need lots of prayer to win this battle.

I DID THEM!

The last few days have been a pretty normal schedule: walk, bike, gym, swim. The only thing I have to report is this: Yesterday I did 15 sit-ups (without stopping), 15 reverse sit-ups (without stopping), 15 glute bridges (without stopping) and 15 flutter kicks (without stopping). For those of you who dont know, they are all some form of ab crunches. The first day, I couldnt do two without resting briefly. Even if I dont see it on my body, I see it in my endurance and strength.

Blood Pressure, Bikes, Boxing and Buffalo

Well, had another lost day yesterday...Worked out in the morning and came home exhausted, could hardly keep my eyes open driving home at 9:30 in the morning! Took a 45 minute rest and thought I should check my blood pressure before heading off to the gym to an intense workout with the trainer. I was quite surprised to find that my blood pressure had dropped again (95/56 for you medical folks). Called my doctor and she sent me to urgent care. The doctor there said I should reduce my dosage of meds, which is what I suspected. He also gave me some tips in terms of workouts in the desert. I did learn something quite interesting. One of the meds I take regulates my heartbeat so I dont have palpitations. He said that it keeps my heart rate very low. NO WONDER I CANT GET MY HEART RATE UP TO BE IN THE FAT BURNING ZONE! Although I have continued the disciplines of working out and eating, I dont seem to be seeing any changes to my body. Maybe some tweeks in this area will help. I'll see what my doctor says...

On another note, I got a new bike today! My mom and I went in on it together so that she can have it when I leave. I will have to take a pic tomorrow and see if I can post it. Its a cruiser type bike and quite retro looking. It is a 10 speed so it should serve its purpose just fine. When Dale and I were walking on the river walk today, people were zooming past us and every time I felt envious of their speed. Walking is fine, but a bike! Now thats just one step away from a Harley, right? So tonight I will get it all ready to go and give it a test run tomorrow. Its been years since I have been on a bike. I hope the saying is true, "its just like riding a bike".

Kickboxing class tonight was awesome! Not only can I jab and cross, uppercut and hook, but now I can do a roundhouse kick! I didnt realize that I grunt every time I punch or kick until the music ended in the middle of a round tonight. Ooops. All eyes on the noisy fat chick in the corner.

Had my first eating out experience tonight (other than getting a sub at subway). My brother is one of the football coaches at a local high school and they were doing a fundraiser tonight at Buffalo Wild Wings. Hmmm you might say to yourself, "what is she doing there?" I must assure you that I went in well prepared. I went online this afternoon and looked on the website at the menu and narrowed down my choices to two items. When I went in, I asked for a menu with the nutritional info. I pretty much got a funny look. The waiter however, seemed to understand my needs and was able to help me narrow down my choices. Even with eating out tonight, I ended the day just under my calorie allottment for the day. Dont want to make eating out a habit, but WOO HOO! And I had a great time getting to see Dale in action with the kids.

By the way, after doing my last blog, I went and read more of the surrounding verses to the devotional that I referenced. If you have an opportunity, read 2 Samuel 22, particulary verses 26-51. What an amazing encouragement for anyone facing any kind of challenges! Enjoy!

Leaping Walls

Weigh-In Day. It has taken all day to wrestle through the results of the official weigh-in. I did lose weight, but not anywhere near what I was hoping. For about an hour after, I railed! and ranted! and whined! and questioned! As I thought through the week, I had to concede several points: 1) I did not cheat on the food. Not even once! 2) I exercised like a fiend on Monday through Friday (if you follow, you know that I was trying to stabalize a very low blood pressure on Sat. and Sun.). 3) I learned several things that will be good tools for me in the future as I continue this journey at home.
My friend Luisa has been sending me a daily devotional connected to weight loss. The one I opened tonight was especially appropriate.

Today’s focus scripture is taken from 2 Samuel 22:30:
"For by You I can run against a troop, By my God I can leap over a wall."
I have a confession to make; when I was a little girl I wanted to be Wonder Woman. I used to watch the T.V. series every Sunday evening, eager to see Lynda Carter as Wonder Woman defeat the bad guys. My favorite part was always when she would transform from humble Diana Prince to Wonder Woman by removing her glasses and spinning around. A loud noise, fire, and smoke and boom -- her transformation was instant. Wouldnt it be cool if losing weight was like that? All you would have to do is spin around, God would zap you, and all of the weight would disappear. But it doesn’t happen that way. Instead God gives you the endurance to run against troops and leap over walls. That’s what King David discovered.
David wrote today’s scripture after God delivered him from King Saul, who had been trying to kill him for years. Even though David had defeated Goliath and God had anointed him King over Israel, he still had to fight battles before he could claim what was his.
A strong, healthy body is yours. But you will have to fight for it. Scripture tells us that we do not fight against flesh and blood but against principalities and powers (Ephesians 6:12).
God has strengthened you with the endurance to run against troops, like your habits of the past.The way you can run with endurance is by giving yourself a vision of what you are running toward, keeping a clear picture of your future healthy self in your mind’s eye at all times.

I do wish God could just zap me thin and healthy, but part of me being here is to learn the discipline to fight this battle for years to come. As I look at the past week, no I didnt have the loss I wanted and expected, but I know that God has given me a profitable week and has shown me the way to continue to run with endurance. Pray that I will remember that God goes before me and flattens the walls so I can continue to leap over them.

PS. I DID beat my brother at the weigh-in!

This has been a rough couple of days for me. Yesterday, Friday, I had a great morning and felt good. Walked to Walgreens (1.6 miles one way) to rend a redbox movie. Told myself I was going to have to work for it if I wanted to watch a movie. Came home and was fine. Went to the gym to work out with the trainer. I was working so hard sweat was pouring out of my head! When we finished, I felt very light headed and nauseous. I ended up sitting in the locker room for about 45 minutes before I could come back out and complete two other machines Matt had given me as homework. I still didn't feel great and he said to just hold off on the cardio part for now. I went home and made myself eat and drink water and laid down for a while. When I got up, I felt a bit better and felt like I should take a walk or something so I decided to walk to a bookstore (JUST TO LOOK) that is one mile away. I made it there ok and sat inside the store and finished my water. As I started to browse around, I started to feel light headed. I sat for a while and then went outside so I could eat the snack I had brought. I sat for a while but couldn't quite get rid of the dizzy, nauseous feeling. After a while I decided I better start for home, but knew I would need to go slow. I was really struggling, but felt bad calling a family member to come all the way out to drive me one block home. I started praying that God would help me to get home ok. Within about two minutes of praying, my parents pulled up to the curb next to me! They had been at Costco on the street I was walking on and saw me. They took me home and I pretty much hibernated last night. I woke up feeling the same this morning. My mom suggested it may be a combination of dehydration and blood pressure(I take a water pill with my blood pressure med). She thinks I am losing too much water through sweat and then adding the pill is just depleting my body. So, until I can talk to my doc on Monday, I am holding off on the water pill and trying to drink some Zero Powerade to try to replace some of the stuff my body has lost. I feel like a lump today but I think its wise to try to take a break until I can find some balance. The Arizona heat can be deceiving. When you sweat, it evaporates so quickly you don't realize how much you really are. The last couple of days have been a cold snap(92-95) and so its even more deceiving! If I can feel better, I think I will try to at least get in the pool this afternoon or evening. I hate that I am losing a day, but with the big picture in mind, I can't get so sick I lose more than that.

My living room. The chair on the left is the chosen throne. I do love a good recliner!

Country Girl

The place I am staying has really been great this week! I have been able to walk to the store several times as far as 1.6 mi away. I am also very thankful to have my dad's truck. I knew I was a country girl at heart! There's nothin' like cruisin down the road with the country tunes cranked and the windows down. Now I just need a dog and a hat!

I am at a place where I can post some pics so let me backtrack and put a few of them up. So that everyone has a reference on my starting place, my brother took a pic when we had out weigh-in on the first day. Not very attractive, but I hope it makes the after pic even more fabulous!

Oh my! I really had no idea what I was getting myself into. It has taken a few days to not feel completely physically and emotionally drained. Sorry I haven't blogged in a while. I will try to give you a good idea of what Ive been up to and try to catch you up.

Sunday morning came early and we left for the airport around 4:15am. I had an almost 3-hour layover in Dallas so I made the most of it. Rented a cart, pulled out my sneakers and walked for about an hour through the terminal. Got into Tucson around 12:30 (3:30 VA time) and was met by my folks, brother Dale and neice Izzy. We had a lovely afternoon just being together and catching up.
Later in the evening, I went back to my place and got settled in. I am staying in the trailer of friends of my parents who are in Colorado for the summer. Its perfect! When I can get some pics uploaded, I will add them so you can have a visual of where I am. Did some shopping so I would be prepared in the morning and crashed into bed.

The next morning, my brother came over and the work began. To kick-off our adventure, we both weighed in. I am going to totally put myself out there and let it be known that my starting weight was 301.8. As I continue, I dont think I will put the number of pounds that I lost each week, just that it was a loss. At the one month mark, the gym will do a fitness evaluation and I will be able to tell you how many inches I have lost at that point. If you are someone who wants to know the weight numbers each week, you can email me directly (caryfam5@hotmail.com) and I will let you know.

We went to a nearby middle school track and did a run/walk for two miles. After we took a few minutes out of the sun and had some lunch, we went to Costco so I could stock up on fruits and veggies. I later went to the gym, LA Fitness, officially joined, and set up an appointment with a trainer for the next day. I had planned to take two swim aerobics classes with my sister in law, Darlene (Dea), but when the M/W class was cancelled, she convinced me to take a kickboxing class with her at the local community college. So, we headed off to the first class. When the instructor came in and said she would be excited to see someone vomit, cry or bleed, I knew I was completely out of my league. I did leave feeling like I could cry or vomit or both. I hated all the core workouts, but loved the boxing part. (I even woke up with a bruise on my knuckle the next day!-my first war wound). It was all I could do to prepare dinner and make myself eat and fall into bed.
The next morning Dale came over and we went to a nearby park. A cool thing about Tucson is that there are tons of paved walking paths. All the parks seem to have them and along the washes (a dry riverbed that fills with water during the late summer Monsoon season) there are paved pathways for walkers, runners, bikers, skaters and horseback riders. So at the park we walked for a while. I came home and had a break and then walked up to a store called Sunflower. Its a grocery store that has lots of produce, organic meats, bulk grains and nuts, lots of health foods and a whole vitamin/supplement section. Ate lunch and headed back to the gym. The workout was legs and abs. After the kickboxing the night before, it kicked my butt! But I did planks! two sets of them! 20 seconds each! I was supposed to go from there to swim aerobics, but the class got canceled since someone left a surprise in the pool earlier in the day! I came home to rest for about an hour and then couldn't get up. I just layed low that night.
Yesterday I felt better and was able to do more throughout the day, including walking about three miles in the morning, working out at the gym, more walking, kickboxing and some pool workout stuff after dinner. Today, more of the same, just replace kickboxing with swim aerobics. Pray for me, my left thigh is giving me trouble and slowing me down. Although my walk this morning was at a pretty slow pace, but I burned the same number of calories as the walk/run the first day! More later!

Hometown Sendoff

Monday was a day to remember those who have given their lives in pursuit of freedom for me and you. I am proud to be an American. Only Jesus has sacrificed more for me and I don't ever want to take either lightly.

As we gathered to celebrate the holiday, it was also a day to say goodbye to the old me and bury her forever. Sounds a little morose, I know, but I think it best describes the way I was feeling.

My wonderful, bosom friends surprised me with a sendoff that took me by surpise. When we arrived at the house, all of them and their families were gathered on the front porch holding signs and cheering me on. Wow. I was completely overwhelmed and wasn't sure even how to respond. If I had my wits I would have replied in Daris' (from the Biggest Loser) famous words, "I will do my best to make you proud and to make myself proud too."

The amazing part is that my dear, sweet friends love me. They want me to succeed, not because they would like me more, but because I will like me more. They want the best for me, and are cheering me on and praying for me. I know they will be my Aaron and Hur holding my arms up when I cant hold my own (Exodus 17:8-13).

Thank you dear friends! I love you all so much.

And when I come back, "I believe we will have somthing to celebrate!"

One Week and Counting

And the countdown begins. One week from today I will be in Tucson, Arizona for the start of my new adventure. Scared and nervous. Feel a little sick to my stomach. Am I up to the challenge? What if I fail?
For those of you who see me every day, you know why I have to go. For those of you who dont, let me enlighten you. Over the last 40 years, I have continued to gain weight, continued to hide behind it and continued to use it as an excuse. No more.
I was given an incredible gift. The ability to take time off work and pursue fitness as a full-time endeavor. So, for two months, starting in...one week...my full time focus will be diet and excercise in the hopes of breaking the cycle of habbits and choices that have been my way of life. In the gym with a trainer every day, swimming, aerobics, hiking, biking, walking. The goal - burn calories in every possible way.
This is a week to put on the game face. To get my head in the game. All while trying to get my family ready for mom to be gone for two months.
The official weigh in will be on June 7. You can track my adventure on The Pink Joy. Because pink is not just a color, its an attitude!