Back in the Saddle?

Well... It has been a while since I blogged and at least one of you has been asking, so this one's for you Toots!

The last months have been long and hard. I aint gonna lie. I had been at a plateau for a while, several months and it was getting extremely old. I pushed through on the exercise because I had a goal to run my first race. A 5K Turkey Trot just before Thanksgiving. (see pic of the momentous occasion) But, after the race, I petered out. Mostly because of just being tired of not seeing results. Plus the holidays were coming and I eased up a bit. Also, I had been having trouble with my hip and after evaluating that, I was sent to Physical Therapy twice a week for at least 2 months. At the first session, I was told that to see the best results, I had to forgo all impact cardio, including walking outside. If I wanted to do the treadmill, that was OK except I could only do it if I held on. Well, that wont even break a sweat. So, with all that in mind, I totally let up. MISTAKE!!!!! I should have continued with the weights even if I couldn't do the cardio. I should have continued with the eating even though I couldn't do all the parts of my routine. Those of you who have followed are smart enough to know how well all of THAT worked.

So, after several long months of losing ground, I am back in the saddle. Well, at least I'm standing in the stirrup with one leg halfway over. I am currently back in the gym and training for an upcoming 10K race on April 29 (as of the last long run, I am up to 4 miles). I am amazed that even though I went for so long without working out consistently, its like my body still remembers. I haven't had to back track in my weights as far as I thought. I have been able to pick up the running pretty seamlessly even after a long winter.

The food. The food is alway the hard part for me. I just love food. I do however, love how I feel when I eat the best foods for my body. If there just wasn't such a thing as bread I would be ok. Who invented that anyway?! So, once the eating is back in full swing, that other foot will be in the stirrup.

I'm back in the saddle again

Out where a friend is a friend

Where the longhorn cattle feed

On the lowly gypsum weed

Back in the saddle again

Ridin' the range once more

Totin' my old .44

Where you sleep out every night

And the only law is right

Back in the saddle again

Whoopi-ty-aye-oh

Rockin' to and fro

Back in the saddle again

Whoopi-ty-aye-yay

I go my way

Back in the saddle again

Ah Gene Autry.

Yes, I am definately back in the saddle again, ridin' the range once more, totin' my old 44.

Love you Toots!

Challenge

Let me preface this with a disclaimer. This blog entry is really intended for me. A place to look back and remind myself of what I need to do. You can do it, Joy! Don't be swayed!
I got a Facebook "event notice" yesterday about a 10K/5K race in November. At first I thought, "Why is she sending this to me? I'm not ready for this. I am not a runner." The more I thought about it though, it became kind of a challenge to me. I could do this. Could I do this?
It stayed in my mind all day. When I was done working out with weights at the gym, I headed outside to do some walking and running. As I started down the road, I could not get that event out of my mind. I decided I was gonna see what I had in me. I asked God to help me find a pace that would allow me endurance so that I could see how far I could go. Then I started to run. And I ran. And I ran. Now, when I say how far I went, some people might wonder what the big deal is. Before then, I had pushed myself to run for a three minute stretch before I had to walk. This time, I just let go (and let God :) ). I ran .4, walked for about 30 seconds and ran another .35. 3/4 of a mile! Now, I am not quite at a 6 minute mile. In fact, I am not even at a 15 minute mile. But I was so proud of myself. It was an amazing start.
So, I plan to at least do the 5K and if I get gutsy enough I might run the 10K. November is a few months away and I feel confident that even if I have to walk some, I could do it.
So Joy, when you read this in a month or so, don't waiver. Push through. Run the race and finish strong!

WOW!

For so many years I have done diets and been successful for a while, sometimes months, but every time I would slip back and fail. There is a part of me that still has that niggling thought in the back of my brain, "what if something happens and it doesn't last?"
I have been pondering the phrase "walking in Truth". What does that mean? I think it holds many connotations, but the one that has resonated with me is this: Jesus conquered sin. That's it. I don't have to do it for myself. Gluttony and idol worship (food) are sin. He has already won the battle for me. That's the Truth.
Walking in that Truth is having a confidence that my striving has ceased. I can be faithful every day, and I don't have to expect that I am going to slip back to my old ways.
Every day I see evidence of the inner fix. It's easy to be disciplined (if your anyone other than me!), but to see change that is a complete switch without having to struggle through it is only God. Up until this summer, my life has been about food and eating. All day and every day. Secret eating and binging. It always amplified when Brian had to be away.
When I came home from Arizona, within a few days, Brian had to be gone for a week. I was back to work, shuffling kids and trying to stick to a workout schedule. When Brian came home, we were out walking and he called me to account and asked if I had cheated while he was away. Wow. Way to cut to the chase. I had the most amazing experience as I answered his question. (OK, I am starting to well up) I realized that NOT ONCE had it even CROSSED my mind to cheat while he was gone. That realization has undoubtedly been one of the highlights of my Christian walk. I probably could have tried to remain disciplined on my own, but to realize that there had been a mental switch for me can only be attributed to God's work in me.
I don't have to wonder if I will fail. I just have to walk in God's Truth daily.
WOW!

Settling In

How wonderful to be home! I really did miss my family. Two months is a long time. Although my time away from my family doesnt even come close, I have a newfound appreciation for military families and the sacrifice they make every day. Even though I was away, I still had the luxury of picking up the phone any time I wanted to talk to my family. My heart goes out to Brian's sister Kimberly and her husband Chad. They are only in the middle of six months apart while Kimberly serves in Afganistan.
Coming back to reality is, well...reality. Schedules and work, shopping and cooking, laundry and cleaning. You know the drill. Thankfully I had a plan in place for the first week before I even stepped off the plane. If I didnt, it would have been easy to waffle and flake (frosted that is!)- two things that are definately NOT on the current menu!
I am happy to report that with only a few minor glitches, I have exercised every day and continued to stick to my eating. I think that the biggest thing I have seen is that I have to make the exercise a priority. Not in a selfish, self-centered kind of way, but an "I love my family so much I have to take care of myself" way.
So far so good in the support from the fam. The only groans I have heard are the ones from my husband and son when I put them through my workout and the slight grumbling about there being "nothing to eat in this house". I did strike a bit of a bargain and declared one night a week Treat Night. Took the fam to the local treat joint and gave them money to go in without me to purchase a single-serve treat.

So far, so good. Gotta keep pluggin away.

Final Numbers

Well, its almost over. Tomorrow will be seven weeks since I arrived in Tucson. Only 4 days til I am home, if you wondered. Since I gave you the ugly details when I started, I thought it only fair to give you a report on the final numbers.

• 44 - Days in the gym
• 14 - Workouts with a trainer
• 5 - Times I did after saying I couldn't (I dont think Matt knows the words I Can't)
• 30 - Workouts pushing myself
• 50 - Water Aerobics classes
• 14 - Kickboxing classes
• 180 - Sit-ups at a "sitting"
• ?? - Miles walked (maybe just under a million)
• 0 - Days I went over my calories
• 2 - Planned cheats (within calorie limits)
• 3 - Restaurants eaten in
• 1 - Zumba class
• 2- Step classes

Oh, and I lost:

• fear
• inhibition
• addiction to food
• fear of failure
• lack of discipline
• and yes, pounds and inches

My journey is far from over and many of you will walk it with me daily. I know that 30 years of old habits and past failures will try to creep in from time to time. I am trusting God that the foundation has been laid for a new way of living. I have found the blog to be a great way for me to communicate what God and I have been up to. I will probably continue to blog as I walk down the long road ahead. As I look back over old blogs, it has become a testimony of where God has brought me.

I want to thank everyone who has followed and supported me through this "kick-off" phase of my journey. I could not have done it some days without your thoughts and prayers.

There is a quote on the gym wall: "Never let weakness tell you that you lack strength."

I think I will end with that.

Old Friend

OK, so the countdown is on and has been for a week or so, when I boldly declared "I'm done and ready to go home." I think the next three words are more obvious to most of you than me...Famous Last Words.
This has been a most idyllic situation from the beginning; control over everything that happens in my day from eating to exercise. No one to shop for, cook for and care for but myself. Now, I know you know that it hasnt been without its issues, but for the most part, it has been fairly straightforward to follow the plan.
Enter the reveal outfit. You know, the one they see you in the first time they lay eyes on the new you. Sassy and classy and making you shine. So, I spent all afternoon Sunday and part of the day on Monday looking for just the right outfit. After about 20 stores, at least double that in outfits, and finding out that I may have to wear the same size back home that I started with, you can be sure I had a visit from an old friend.
Emotional Eating and I go way back. We have been tight since middle school. Its been for the best really that we have been separated these last weeks. She had become a bit too overbearing. She called on Sunday and wanted to renew our relationship. I have to be honest and say I considered it. I mean, at least we were comfortable together and if my new friend Fitness isnt being a faithful friend, well...
Have you ever prayed that prayer, you know the one where you say to God, "Teach me, show me, grow me"? How many of you can honestly say He hasn't? A couple of weeks ago when things were rockin along and I knew I was coming to the end, I prayed that prayer and asked Him to work out anything else that needed to be dealt with. BAM! Right between the eyes! Just when I thought it was gonna be smooth sailing.
It has been a hard couple of days. Days of once again second guessing my methods and wrestling with the old me, days of anger and frustration. The whole thing made me so mad that I didnt even complain to Matt about the killer workout he gave me. I just did it harder and left my anger in the gym.
What? What was that about leaving it in the gym? YES! I realized when I left the gym yesterday that even though I was angry and frustrated about the situation that I had gotten through Sunday, Monday and Tuesday morning without eating anything I shouldnt have. The amazing thing is that the anger only made me want to work harder to overcome the situation. I decided then and there that I had to break up with Emotional Eating. I'm sure in the future she will try to get back together, but my new friend Fitness and I will be busy.
Oh, and even if I have to come home in the same outfit, the woman inside it will be different.

Weekly Weigh-In

For those of you holding your breath about my weigh-in this week, you can let it out.
Matt has asked me not to weigh until Thursday, our last session when he weighs and measures me. He wants me to be encouraged by a big number before I go home.
I have to be honest and say that I did cheat and stepped on the scale at my folks house this weekend. The temptation was too great! Without revealing too much, I can assure you it was less than the last time I was on the scale last Monday.
Now I have to confess to Matt...